Day 19: Again....

Yup, again and again and again...


Today started fairly well actually.

Both me & my roommate slept late yesterday and woke up late too. Ok, not really late for me since my eyes already opened since....I don't know, 8 maybe? It was quite a long time before my alarm, set to 9, started ringing. But it wasn't a problem, as long as I got enough sleep. Else I won't function properly.

So after brunch me & my friends went to Migros to buy some foods and body lotion plus face cream in the pharmacy. I don't know which product is good actually, I just follow the others. And maybe it was a slightly bad idea. I mean, I have no idea and I just followed what the others said because they know better than me. Sounds safe and sound. But the problem is, their views of the prices are different than me.

Quin told me l'occitane is good. It is good, I'm sure of it, especially since it's made in France. Obviously can cover the needs. However Iriana is a problem since she....I hope it's not only me....but she seems a bit cold to me. At least that's what I feel today. When I told her I need to buy a jacket, she told me it's better to buy something like H&M because to buy things here probably not very good in quality and with a high price too. I know it's true, I also think like that, but the problem here is I have to go to Montreux to reach H&M and I don't think I will have the time for that. But when I told her this, she simply shrugged. For me, it seemed skeptical. And she's the one who doesn't know the value of money too. It seems like she's too self-centered, or at least she doesn't want to listen to me and my needs.

Too bad, I need her help in this area since she is the one who already experienced snowy days.

In the end, I bought l'occitane face cream and body lotion, plus one nivea soft intensive cream in tube just to try. When we went to Coop I saw Dove body butter and since Iriana said body butter is better in some ways, I bought it too. In total, with the milk and everything, I spent more than 120 francs. Which means, I spent more than 1 jt Rupiah.




I honestly feel very very bad towards my parents. Yes I know the life here is very expensive and I also know what I bought are the necessities....but I also know that I'm very stingy. Which is an advantage in a lot of things, like I won't spend my money for unnecessary things.

My point is, I hope I can somewhat reduce my expenses. I don't know how, but I really want to. School fees are already expensive...


Btw..


Yeah, it happened again. Even though I went out today, have quite some fun and sad due to previous event, I suddenly feel down again at the moment.

And all it takes are supervision research and browsing wiki about HR.

I've decided I don't like hospitality supervision now. The class is boring and.....I can't explain why but I don't like it. In some ways, I kind of regret i dropped business planning and not supervision. In a matter of importance, supervision is more important. In a matter of class and way of studying, business planning is better. I have Iriana in both presentation groups so it's a 50-50 situation.

But seriously, the whole ordeal makes me worried about myself.


A simple curiosity and a peek of my future work interest has made me doubt myself again. I became worried, afraid, because I don't know what the future will bring and will I like it or not, can I handle it or not....why am I so easily scared and stressed?

My emotions can go up and down too easily. TOO easily. Why? When did this start? How did it happened?


I'm trying to focus on supervision project now, I'm worried since the day is near to my contemporary issues project. I honestly don't like it, with my easy-to-stressed condition and two presentations so near to each others....

I know I will suffer a lot.

That's why I'm trying to prepare myself since now, but it's also hard. I easily get distracted, quite moody in doing something, and my worried tendency--again, a big factor....


I don't even know what I can do.


But I can say that I'm more interested in my contemporary issues project rather than supervision one. Simply because my group mates in contemporary issues are much more nicer....and the topic is about culture.


This also makes me wonder, maybe I should've stayed in culture path. But both of this and supervision class are the ones who made me want to try HR.


So the conclusion is: I'm still confused. I don't know what will happen, I will leave all of this to my lovely Jesus Christ. I hope I will feel better after tomorrow's sermon. Maybe I'll do rosary prayer too tomorrow.


I'll.....call it a day now.

Day 10: Whut?

Hai thar today...


I've been attacked by a full boredom since yesterday and I wonder why. I have a lot things to do like mandarin (ugh!), checking my wardrobe, checking Glion website, searching for my lost photo CD, write down some recipes (halfway done), checking my shoes....eh, I even planned to bake brownies again but I'm too lazy to do it in the end.


And my brother sounds a bit pissed off since this noon. He keeps changing his facebook status with things like "AAAAAAAARRRGHHH!!" or "DO not disturb" or similar things that screamed "touch me and die. I'm totally pissed". I'm so used to hear him yelled or overall being PMS.





Oh oh oh yesterday I went shopping with mom, I finally bought red wine!! Yay, I miss drinking red wine so much (especially with my tummy problems)!! I drank two little cups already up till now :P
And when I strolled passed Starbucks, my friend Rendhy was there! Rendhy, why do every time I go to MKG you were never there? Wheh, but two thumbs up for you and Daniel! You two, along with Santi at SenCy are the ones who are still loyally work in our beloved cafe~ Obviously Clemens, Jack & me were retired already, though Clemns & me still often joke about customers XDD and of course, Ana was MIA since a long time ago. I wonder why. Was it just because her store is far from her campus?
Oh Rendhy, thanks for the free tall no whipped dark berry mocha <3 It was very very berry even though only a pump of syrup (but it's blueberry, no wonder....).I'm not really fancy it but it's not bad. I still prefer my beloved double choco cream chip (oreo, my barista partners said) or raspberry blackcurrant or a simple latte. Yummy~ I love milk hence the double choco cream chip, so what XD




Today is...la-la-laaaa.....Benito, you dork! Why didn't you tell me earlier that you have facebook??? Tsk, and here I thought you're already forgot about me, your DBSK/Suju/SHINee/FTTS BFF in crime (that's self-proclaimed, please ignore it). And now I see we do have different style of music....or maybe different ill too. I missed those times last year when you were asking me Noonan nomu yeppeo HQ MV after I gave you their 1st album and an LQ MV :P Not a dongbangers anymore hm? Well, that's okay. I am one too, I really missed their korean songs....just come back here misters XD
Why do I found it a bit hilarious now that you like Suju the most? Oh oh oh maybe because I was the one who gave you their old MVs plus some show clips and some MV behind the scenes/makings? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Speaking of korean fandom......I was scarred with 2NE1. Female Big Bang? Not that it was a bad idea for the group to make such a funky girl band but why do they have to announced it as female Big Bang? Their fame will be always related to BB itself, I really wish it won't be like that. I'm sure they can be famous on their own later but I really don't like such title.

Anyway.

The thing that scarred me was a performance video of the girls I saw in youtube, thanks to my meimei Pei. Well, i was impressed at 1st, this is the 1st girl singers I've ever seen dancing with sneakers instead of high heels in k-music...well, just as far as I have seen though. BUT it was totally destroyed by the magnae's chest pumps.

HELLO, HELLO. CHEST PUMPS. CHEST PUMPS?????

A young woman did chest pumps??? And the youngest of the four at that!!! OMG what were they thinking, making such a young woman did chest pumps?? EWWWWW!!!! Totally inappropriate both for me & my meimei!!!

Btw their style are so...uh....BB horrible style. They might think it's funky but not for me....


I suddenly remember my drema last night. I was in a kind of military team consisted of 3 women & a man as the team captain. One of the other women was Li Yu Chun, the famous chinese androgyny singer (I mean she's a total tomboy). I was the one with the heaviest weapon sets too. Just like Vasquez in the old movie "Alien". The setting was in a modern city below a hill or mountain,and we were armies in an academy that, weirdly, was focused in languages. So all projects were about language & how to overcome language barriers.


.....ROFLMAO much?


Seriously, armies in language academy?



Well. Random dream but quite entertaining I should say.


Okay so I have enough rantings for the day. Let's go back to (ugh!) mandarin now.

Zhao ju zhao ju...


I'll call it a day now.

Day 6: shopping, friends

Today is....a so-so day at first and a happy day now as I write this~


I went to Artha with mom to buy some fruits and a purse I've been wanting to buy since a long time (but mom always declined, said that I will fine it cheaper at MangDu). I saw my dream purse at Elizabeth but at the time it was so expensive....about 300.000rupiah! No wonder mom said that...

But when we arrived, the purse wasn't there anymore. I was totally pissed off and mom can sense that, she knew how much I wanted the purse but because she drived me off again & again now it was already sold out. So mom offered to go to Elizabeth at MKG, maybe we wil find it there. Before that, we went to Diamond to buy some fruits, milk and other necesary things.


Luckily, I found that purse at Elizabeth MKG (and yes, the price is still 300.000) but I don't care and we bought it at last. Here's the pic of that purse. I have my reasons to buy it: it is big enough I don't have to fold my money, has lots of pockets to slip cards inside, and it is thick and save!


I forgot to mentione it before but yesterday I also bought another dress. This one is simple and casual, just a grey dress without any patterns on it. I like it for its simplicity (and because I'm fascinated with dresses lately).

And tonight I found some childhood friends from primary school in facebook! O.O and some of tehm actually went to a small reunion at MKG last week....WHYYYYY didn't I know anything about it?? Chan2 why didn't you tell meeee???? I missed them so much!! Why it is only now I found them while I've been searching them for a long long time?? T_______________T

Anyway

As I see it from the bright side, I found some old friends via that friend, Fani. YAY!!! I'm still happy~


I'll call it a day now, I still have mandarin homework to do~

Day 5: shopping, food, headache, prayer

I wonder if it's a good day....


Well, obviously yesterday was a good day. I chatted with ShinyIslandMan, as usual, but that was the first time we talked about fashion XD we both love Korean fashion though she loves tomboy and casual style while I like both casual and dresses....
She was complaining of how her mom doesn't approve her clothing style, auntie wants her to wear dresses like me :P

See, this is my dress~
Auntie wants her to wear something like this (ShinyIslandMan told me so).

To be honest I'm a bit embarrassed too, this one seems so flowery but since she said it's not childish and I will look good in it, okay then.

Btw ever since I bought this one, I started to enjoy looking at dresses. Before I wasn't confident enough to wear dresses, skirts or shorts. I only wear jeans. But now I guess it's about time I give it a try. I'm old enough to do so 0(^.^)0

Anyway, today I went shopping with mom at Mangga Dua. Originally we wanted to buy stockings and purse for me, plus looking around just in case we find some nice sweaters for winter. In the end, I bought a simple grey dress, mom bought a blouse, and it was only much later when we decided to go home when we finally found a kiosk that sells stockings, socks and tights (which are what I bought). Mom said I should wear dresses more often since I'm "still young, beautiful and fair-skinned". Aiya....

Anyway ever since we found out I have cholesterol problem, I've been trying to eat oatmeal at least once a day. I like oatmeals, I can eat it with whatever foods available in my house as long as it has broth or a soup. Yesterday I ate oatmeal with opor and today I ate it twice with burger meat and cap cay (however I suppose to write it anyway?).

But the so-called lowering cholesterol rate (I don't know how to write this either) was epically failed when mom decided we will buy KFC for me & gege's lunch. Oh man.....and here I thought I could skip junk foods for a while......

And then, I don't know why, the moment we reached home, I got massive headache. My head was pounding (and perhaps still is now, I'm not sure), maybe because we got home late and I'm not used to eat late like that. It was already 4 PM when I finished lunch and bathed, it was too late to catch a nap so I just browsed internet and played Coffee Buzzed as usual.

Well, at least I'm not in a total bad mood like the other day.

Btw dad lost his StarOne sim card. Why are all the men in my house so careless and ignorant??? Like father like son.......


I was chatting with Siska for a while before I write this, she is eating dinner now. Since I often online, she always seeks for advices to me.

I want to pray a bit here, since I usually can't even open my heart enough to see things in my heart.

Lord, I want to thank You for letting me feel like this. Ever since I was little I always let people take advantage of me. I let my childhood friends copied homeworks I had done with so much efforts and they didn't even thank me. I let them ignored me after all I've done to them. However during my later days, You has made them open my eyes of how annoying I was being. Now I am changed and I hope for the good. I often feel lonely, which I know mostly because my friends are already working or because they still think I'm the annoying girl from the past, I try not to care too much. Lord, I thank You for giving me blessings, for letting me develop the thought of trying to see everything form every sides available. I am most grateful that I can share my past experiences to my younger friends: ShinyIslandMan, Ari and Siska. I feel like an older sister for them and I really grateful for the chance You're giving to me.
I am grateful I have Widi as my friend, even though I feel neglected at times, it's always me who calls her and never her to me. I understand though, she is more charming and friendly, she has a lot of friends who care. I'm not the only one but I'm still happy and proud she still sees me important.
Lord, I know I'm materialistic, I always greedy and selfish, always want more and more than I should have to. Still, this is what You gave me to control myself, I trust You and I know this is an imprtant lesson from You. I love You for every single thing You gave me and plan for me, whatever it will be. Please guide my way so that I still can be myself and not walk into the wrong path.

Amen.


I'll call it a day now.