Day 14: Switzerland 1st day

Duh.....1st thing came in mind: my english is nothing but engrish, conversation wise T____T

Really, I'm ashamed of myself. Btw before I left, my friend Iriana, who is going to take a PGD too, told me I'll be fine "soalnya org2 SK n Cina kan inggrisnya lebi ngawur" XDD I was laughing when I read that particular message....but now...hhh....I have 2 Chinese & Taiwanese friends, who are my dorm neighbors. Engrishnya lmyn tuh, malah kayanya lebi lancar mreka d....huuh...and now I'm contemplating to take the english class or not...but the credits....

And you know what? Before I left at Cengkareng, I felt at eased more than the days before, when I was often feel dizzy and shaking because I was so nervous. No, when I was at Cengkareng, I was nervous but remained calm most of the time. When I was in the plane, I teared up a bit when I silently prayed to Christ, wishing Him to protect me and making me strong.

My prayer has been answered, I was able to stay calm....even when I was alone in the luxurious Abu Dabhi airport (it's not as luxurious as Singapore's Changi but definitely more luxurious than Tokyo's Narita), when I have to search for my luggage while leaving my laptop and cabin bag alone in the floor, hoping no one dare to steal it. When I met the school's representative was the 1st time I realized that my english is nothing but engrish. I'm disappointed of course, but since I also met new friends from Mexico, Taiwan, China, Vietnam and Thailand, I didn't feel that bad.

I am now quite close to the Vietnam woman, she's my roommate, and also the Taiwanese and the Chinese (they are my neighbors). We even took a walk together around Bulle to check where is the convenience store, the supermarket, the bookstore, etc. I'm quite at ease with them since maybe, just maybe, they feel the same intensity as I'm currently feeling.

But now, when me & the Vietnamese are alone in our room, busy doing anything we're doing with our laptop and internet connection, I feel it again. The very same fear and loneliness I've felt 5 years ago when I first stayed in dormitory when I just got accepted in UI.

I know I'm a mommy's girl. A family girl. Whatever lah....my point is, I really had underestimated my own self, the maturity and my feelings and emotions to accept this. This is my 1st time going so far far away from home, and now I'm overwhelmed with the feeling of....loosing the shelter my family always provided, for the lack of the better words.

Gw abis nangis di wc td, sambil berharap si vietnam ga denger. Diragukan si.....tapi dia pasti jg ngerti kayanya. Gw kan masi anak2, dia udah 27 thn, jelas lebi siap mental. N bbrp hal yg jg memicu gw nangis mgk gara2 ini:
1. gw sambil sms ama nyokap
2. gw nyoba2 onlen sambil chatting ama eiji
3. gw nowel2 tmn gw si kucing poland, yg mana yg bersangkutan rupanya ga nyadar klo gw just a few hours away from her place now (emg aga2 telmi ni anak, tp lucu si :P)
4. si vietnam lg video chat di sblh gw....pastinya klo ga ama kluarganya ya ama temen2nya..

N smua itu jelas cuma bikin gw tambah gimanaaaa gitu......

Honestly, this is embarrassing. I'm 23 already, I'm not a little girl anymore! Okay, I know these feelings are just temporary. Once I got used to the life here, I'll be fine, I know that. But the process until being there still need a lot of works...and tears.

I hope I'll feel at home here, at Glion....but during dinner, I lost my appetite because just half an hour before I drank a glass of sour orange juice. I have to force myself to eat dinner, that the foods were sadly what I'm not exactly fond of. I don't understand how my friends still can eat them after drank the juice and ate a plum and an apple. Hhh...their tummies work differently than mine...


Christ, please make me strong...


I'll call it a day for now, I hope they are enough.....and maybe I'll go cry again in the wc now...