Day 18 : A day can make you proud and sad

It was quite....interesting today, I guess?


As usual in Friday mornings, I woke up at 7 to pamper myself with hot shower & light make-up......just to eat breakfast at 8 and then go back to sleep.

Thank God I have the courage (and sane mind) to quit Business Planning. I seriously will die of over-stressed if I do continue. Sorry, Mr. K, but this is my sanity that I'm putting into the life line here.

Anyway, I also cleaned up my room a bit. Yesterday I got an e-mail from the reception, saying that our room will be the exemplary room to show to Glion guests because our is always clean and tidy.

I'm proud of that, really proud~

But it seems like my roommate just doesn't understand why it is our room that got chosen. She doesn't mind, not at all, but she doesn't understand why.

That also makes me don't understand her. She has question marks label at times, at least for me.


By the way, at the noon, she & my band of girls decided to skip english due to presntation preparations. Life's pretty hectic for them now, I hope they'll be ok.
And honestly, I feel a bit envious towards my Taiwanese friend. It's true she has a lot of works to do, because all 3 of her presentations are near to due. But actually, if one look at it carefully, she will have a lot of free time after mid term break. While I'm still have 2 presentations, the days very near to each other, and I know I'll go crazy by the time.

Let's just hope I will survive.


Not to mention at the time it's proably already snowing....and I still remember Fina said snow brings a gloomy feeling.

As if I'm not gloomy enough now?


I still have my doubts time to time. A few days ago I was crying because I don't know what I actually want to do in life, whether I make a good choice or not, etc etc. And the trigger was pictures of my Brazilian friend in Switz.

In a matter of seconds, I started thinking "What am I doing here with these guys, these westerners? Do I really want to work with them?? What if I become like them??"

Okay that sounds a bit racialist but I won't deny that I am racialist, even only slightly.

I love my Asian background, my Chinese/Indonesian origin, and I don't want to change that. I'm pretty conservative and a lot of things here made me baffled and disappointed even. I often see the pictures of my westerner friends partying and I really really really really don't like that. The way they are partying is scary for me, perhaps because it includes a lot of alcohol/booze/smoke/disco/whatever that I never associated to in Indonesia. And I dislike it, which is purely because of stereotypes, and I don't wish to change it.

That's why I told my family and close friends I want to work at a place with large Asian community, such as Toronto, Singapore, Japan, South Korea....or even China and Taiwan, if my mandarin can get any better.

I've sent an e-mail to internship office today, I think I will visit them after lunch at Tuesday to ask for some infos. I'm still not sure if I really want to continue the next semester or not but I think it will be a great pity, a great loss, if I don't continue. I need the degree certificate and the knowledge. I admit I'm afraid (when I am not anyway?) to enter the work, because I have no idea what I will do and what I will encounter once I do, but I also often daydreaming of working in a hotel, in which I can earn money by myself and make my family proud because I manage to survive living abroad alone with me being mommy's girl and all.

HR and FO....I don't know which one is better. I have the brief ideas of working in FO, thanks to Rooms Division class, but HR...I completely clueless. That's why I need to ask the internship office, at least I can know some things to prepare my poor mental. I somewhat more interested in HR though, simply because Mizuno offered me a job in HRD before.

Besides, I'm from cultural studies. I have more interest in human lives, their cultures and society, rather than just counting counting counting and counting.

Also the very main reason why I suddenly decided to throw away F&B for hospitality. I didn't know that F&B has so many counting counting counting, so even though the lecturer is very nice, I simply not interested in the course itself. Too many countings. And I don't like designing menus either. I guess my interest in F&B areas are only because I like to cook and bake, with my own pace, and healthy foods at that.



I'll change the topic.


Weather here is suddenly dropped these days. Usually it was only the weekends that is very cold but now....it started to get cold even in weekdays.

Today's temperature in the morning was 7 and 18 in the afternoon. And it has been raining since yesterday. My poor umbrella ripped a bit but I still can use it.

I'm more worried about the cold spell though. I have sweaters and pullovers but warm jacket and clothes in general, I haven't got any chance to buy them yet. Now this is really worrying. I will visit the jacket shop tomorrow. Will be very dangerous if I can't find anything there. What if its' suddenly snowing?? It sounds impossible, considering now is supposed to be early autumn, but who knows? The weather here is unpredictable and global warming makes it worse...


I hope I can find something tomorrow....



And God bless Indonesia, I hope there will be no more victims or sudden natural disasters. I'm worried about my families and friends.....and the earthquake killed so many people too.....

I don't know what it means since I'm here, safe and sound albeit stressed, but a lot of people died and injured and suffered mental trauma.


I won't consider myself lucky.

But I will do what I can do....


I'll call it a day now.