Day 4: family, food, Church

I have a long day today


I started the day with fair mood but it changed through the day. See, today I was supposed to go to Mangga Dua to buy clothes and other things necessary for school abroad. She told me to prepare early. Turned out she has to help dad in surgery until 11.30 am and of course it wasn't what I think "early". Still mom insisted I have to go. I've tried to tell her that I wasn't in the mood anymore but did she listen to me? Like usual, no. She just went "okay be prepared, as soon as your dad finished lunch we'll go"...........and I was saying "I'm not in the mood..." but she just cut me in the middle.

What the.......well, that was enough to make me pissed.

But then just when I was trying to get up and change my clothes, she yelled from downstairs that we'll just go at Monday since she was tired and so did dad.


Why am I still upset about this? My opinions are rarely matters to them. Friends and family wise.

I remember when I was in school, from primary school until university, people rarely listen to me. I still remember when Etas snapped at me just because I was telling her about Kakek and his book. Furthermore, during our graduation day preparation, some of my friends who were the dominant voices in our grade went off to take some pics at kompleks candi. They just left Chibi, Ufie, Himmi and me, who were sitting on another table next to them in kansas, as if we weren't there.

If it was just me, I'm not surprised anymore. But they even left Ufie, Himmi & Chibi who are close to them!!! Such a nice friend....


Anyway, since today is Waisak and dad doesn't need to go to Depok, mom decided we would go to Church this evening. Yes, we did go but once again this so called "discrimination" occurred.

As usual, mom took a nap in my room. She seemed surprised when she saw my window's tills were dusty and began complaining that our maid hasn't clean it properly. (I'm not surprised really. Any normal human will found it annoying to clean things until no dust appear at all every single day, even mom does when our maids are going back home during Lebaran. But since maids' jobs are to clean I guess I have nothing to say). Then she told me to clean it, and so does my bamboo tablet, and she said it has to be clean when she woke up.

I've chose to do it later, I need to do my "meditation"......walking around the room with music in my ears. When mom woke up and saw me meditating and the window tills still dusty, she muttered under her breath "always says yes but not doing it" and then went out to take washcloths and gave one to me, silently orders me to clean my bamboo.

Mom didn't trust me, huh? Should I laugh or what?

But it really made me pissed.


And then it happened again.

I was already bathed from an hour & a half before, just because I have to apply make-up. But at the supposed departure time, my dad & gege haven't even take a bath! And I still could here Merlin's theme song from downstairs.........meaning that they were still watching TV. I asked my mom if we were really going and she simply said "Yes, we are! Dad & gege just need 5 minutes to bath!".

Okay, I know it, so I didn't rushing in changing. But then, when gege was in the bathroom after dad, mom came to my room and scolded me when she saw I still combing my hair and haven't change my clothes yet. Then she yelled again to hurry when I was in the toilet.


Do I......really have to say anything at all?


I was totally grumpy on the way to Church.

I don't know why, but Church is really a holy place I think. Either that, or it's because I'm raised as a good Catholic girl, I always found the Church so calming and nice. Even though I never say out loud the prayers, always mouthing only, and never sing any song, just listening to others sing them. No matter how bad my mood was when I entered the Church, I always feel better after the sermons ended (only failed once but usually like this) and that was what happened today.

Choi Siwon and Kim Junsu, We will be good friends indeed. I have to bring my rosary (and perhaps my bible and puji syukur too, if it's not too heavy) to Glion, and I have to find an English Catholic Church there or I'll really going to die of depression!!


By the way it happened again after sermons. During the last speech in Church I asked mom what will we have for dinner and my mom suggested to eat at Sate Senayan. She refused to eat Dudung (mutton soup) because the soup has a lot of fats and we both have cholesterol problems. So I agreed, we would eat satay.

Then when mom asked dad & gege in the car, gege seemed hesitant because he wanted to go home for work and he complained he always unlucky at choosing food in Sate Senayan. Dad then suggested Dudung take-away when he heard mom told him that was what I previously suggested. And then what happened? Mom said "Okay, Dudung then"

......................OMG?

And then gege suddenly said it was okay to eat satay and....of course we finally ate dinner at Sate Senayan.



Well.

Dad always the first in our family and gege always the second. I'm always at the bottom line.


I'm still irritated at being ignored but not as grudging as earlier today.


I'll just go do my mandarin homework now.


GANBATTE!!! JIA YOU!!! FIGHTING!!!!



I'll call it a day now.